Novel?

I have a lot of free time lately, and I've been wondering what to do with it.

A couple thoughts came to mind, one being that I want to work on drawing out a tattoo. I have like 2 or 3 ideas, and I can't really decide on one. I also can't really draw. But still, it's something to think about doing.

But the one thing that keeps popping into my head is I sort of want to write a book for the lolz. Yeah that's really all, because I don't want anyone stealing my thoughts! Seriously though, it's like 4:40 AM and I need to stop bullshitting on the internet.

Does anyone still read these?!

First thing's first: Hannah<3

Now on to my rant.


So I have decided that as much as I love Jack, I want to throw him from a seven story building because I think that's the best way I can think of to put out the fire I will inevitably set him on.
This cat is the most irritating mother fucker on the face of the earth. He won't drink out of his water bowl, not because it's gross (I've cleaned it by hand twice, and threw it in the dishwasher once already this week), not because he needs new water because he gets that too, and not because he's switched to black coffee or anything like that. Oh no no, he does it just because it's so much easier to try and drink water from the sink I am currently using, or the cup of ice water I am trying to quench my own personal thirst with. So I have started putting ice cubes in his water... I think he's going to kill me in my sleep.

Another one of his magnificent talents is the art of meowing outside of every closed door. Now I am alone in my house right now for the week, so I mean I guess you could ask why am I closing doors? I'll tell you why, because a) I don't like my cat being a voyeur and b) I have no idea if someone is going to decide to rob my house while my junk is swinging freely about. So yes, anyway, I close these doors... but that is against Jack's new "No One is Home, so the Cat is in Charge Rules." ~MEOW ~MEOW ~MEOW. And right when I open the door, he lays there. Like he's been laying there the whole time, and he just wanted to fuck with my head. I swear it's all a plot.

The most frustrating, and alternatively the most disgusting, is the fowl things that he decides to leave me to clean up in his litter box. Now my cat is sick, he has this sickness where he only pees in the corners of the litter box, and then somehow manages to dig through the plastic on the bottom of his box, and bury his piss 4 inches into my floor instead. And you know what, sometimes... I've had days where I tried to pee and it didn't quite go exactly where I aimed it, but you know, I also was done pissing after those days. But oh no, not Jack. I just finished cleaning his litter box, and the very first thing he does is go, "Haha fuck you!" and he takes more time in that small hole than girls take to get ready for prom.

So in conclusion, FUCK YOU JACK. I love you.

Locked Doors

Locked door, I hate you.

I hate the way you are resistant to knives, to guns, to sledgehammers, to rocket-propelled grenades, to weapons that rewrite the very laws of physics, to dark unearthly magic, to punches that can knock a man’s head clean off.

I hate the way I could kick or smash you down in real life, with this puny human body of mine. But I cannot in the grand, escapist fantasy of a videogame.

I hate the way you are so often an easy shortcut for developers unable or unwilling to devise more satisfying obstacles and challenges.

I hate the way you so often lead to nowhere, how you are nothing more than decoration for a wall.

I hate the way I’m expected to give up trying to open you when I see the words “this door has been locked from the other side” or “this door opens elsewhere”, as though they’re a command from God himself.

I hate the way you always make that click-click, or clunk or uh-uh noise when I try to open you: the very sound of failure.

I hate the way your key or switch is always so far away.

I hate the way the fate of the world so often hinges upon opening you.

I hate the way the letter ‘E’ has worn off my keyboard because I’ve tried to open you so many times, in so many games.

I hate the way you’ve added hundreds, perhaps thousands of unnecessary extra hours to my lifetime of gaming.

I hate the way you’ve annoyed me so much that I’ve just written 200 words whining pathetically about you.

If you didn’t exist, locked door, videogames as we know them would be radically different.

Locked door, I hate you.

Courtesy of http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2009/04/21/locked-door/

Mohawk

I decided that I needed to include it in my blog, since it's being shaven off in about 15 minutes or so. It was fun for like about 2 hours, but I really miss my hair :(

Shannon

Is a ghost.

I found out that she was basically flirting with like 3 different guys, why I don't really know. But you know what it's probably for the best. Now I can be myself again.

At Briana's Request :p

1.Are you ready for 100 questions?
Always.

2.Do you watch college football?
No sir.

3.Who will fill this survey out after you?
Hmmm.... George of the Jungle.

4.Who was the last person to send you a text message?
Shannon

5.Do you love anyone?
Not yet.

6.Are you happy?
Sometimes.

7.Where was the last place you went shopping?
Target and Wallmart.

8.How do you feel about your hair?
It's fantastic when I want it to be.

9.Where do you work?
Drug Fair soon to be lolWalgreens.

10.Last thing you ate/drank?
Cereal and coffee.

11.Do you wish you were someplace else right now?
No, I just wish someone else was here.

12. Do you have any pet peeves?
Fake people.

13. Do you have any expensive jewelry?
Nope.

14.AIM or Yahoo?
Fuck them both... MSN messenger all the way!

15.Do you like math?
Depends, but I'm good at it.

16.How many hours on average do you work a week?
23.

17.Do you watch hockey?
I used to, but not anymore.

18. Favorite baseball team?
Yankees I guess because that's who my family likes. (Go us being original Briana!)

19. Favorte NBA team?
Nets or Rockets just because I used them in video games. >_>

20.Do you watch the Olympics?
Sometimes.

21.Last restaurant you went to?
Franks Pizzeria in Lakewood.

22.Who was the last person to call you?
Shannon.

23.What’s your sign?
Aries.

24.Do you have a favorite number?
Anything that is evenly divisible by 5. Just for simplicitie's sake.

25.Last time you did volunteer work or made any donations?
Last time I did work was at the recycling center for my conformation, last donation was probably to one of those jars at a convenient store.

26.What do you spend the majority of your money on?
Food, gas, and clothes.

27.Where does your family live?
New Jersey.

28.Are you an only child or do you have siblings?
I have a younger sister and three older step siblings.

29.Ever been called a bitch?
Has anyone not?

30.Got any guilty pleasures?
Furious masturbation awaaaay! lolz

31.Do you drink beer?
Yes sir.

32. Whats your favorite color?
Black.

33.Did you ever collect Beanie Babies?
I had so many Beanie Babies that I used one of those door hanging shoe racks to store them.

34.Ever bought anything online?
Frequently.

35.Myspace or Facebook?
Facebook, Myspace is for thirteen year old black girls and the forty year old men who stalk them.

36.Do you have T-Mobile?
No, VZW all the way.

37. How many text messages do you send a month?
That number is too large for you to fathom without imploding.

38.Do you sometimes wish you were someone else?
Never, sometimes I wish I looked different though, but I never want to be someone besides me.

39. Do you believe in second chances?
If I didn't, I wouldn't believe in 5th chances... /facepalm.

41.Last time you saw your parents?
This morning, saw my mom about a week ago though.

42.Do you have any talents?
I can make dripping sounds with my mouth... Um lets see... I can still do a cartwheel. Oh, and I have this uncanny ability to piss people off.

43.Ever been in a wedding?
Several.

44. Do you have any children?
Yes, and all several million of them are still located in my testicles.

45. Last movie you watched?
Hot Fuzz.

46. Are you missing anyone at the moment?
It's a weird feeling, but it's sort of like missing. So, yeah I am.

47. Did you take a nap today?
Nope.

48. Favorite tv show?
Lie to Me.

49.Ever been on a cruise?
Yes.

50. Did you notice number 40 was missing?
Not at all. Fucking tricky list makers!

51. Did you just go up and check?
Of course I did, I can't be fooled twice in one day.

52.Do you have any wealthy friends?
I think so.

53.Ever met anyone famous before?
I saw an old timer actor once at Charlie Brown's... he died the next week. I have no idea who he is though still.

54.Favorite actor?
Clive Owen.

55.Favorite actress?
Jodie Foster.

56.Are you multi-tasking right now?
Never.

57.Could you handle being in the military?
Only if I get to snipe the shit out of someone on a daily basis.

58.Are you hungry or thirsty?
No, but I want a cigarette.

59.Favorite fast food restaurant?
McDonalds.

60. Coke or pepsi?
Coke.

61.What is your average cell phone bill?
That's a good question.

62.Do you own a camera phone?
Yes.

63.Ever had to take a sobriety test?
No.

64.Do you believe in Karma?
If I say no, it's going to prove me wrong. But sometimes I try not to.

65.Can you speak any other languages?
Gibberish and Pig Latin count?!

66.Last time you went to the gym or worked out?
3 AM today before I passed out.

67.How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Four.

68.Do you have a photo hosting site that you use?
Yes, but I rarely use it.

69.Last place you were?
Drug Fair.

70.What is your college mascot?
Owl.

71.Ever been to Las Vegas?
Not yet.

72. How many different countries have you been to?
Several.

73. Are you single?
Yeah, sort of.

75. Notice we skipped 74?
Fuck off.

76.Have you ever been gambling?
Yes.

77.How old are your parents?
I have no clue.

78.When is the last time you updated your blog?
I started a post about something yesterday but haven't gotten around to finishing it, before that maybe last week.

79.Do you have your wisdom teeth?
Only for a few more months, then I have to have them yanked out.

80.Favorite place to be?
Not where I am now.

81.Have you been to New York City?
Yes.

82 Favorite sit down restaurant?
Cheesecake Factory.

83.Ever been to Disney Land?
Disney World, Disney Land is poppycock.

84.Do you have a favorite cartoon character?
It's a hard choice, but I decided that I will choose all of The Simpsons' secondary characters. (Prof. Frink, Comic Book Guy, etc etc.)

85.Last thing you cooked?
Ham and Egg sandwich.

86.How is the weather today?
I will find out soon when I go out to get lung cancer.

87.Do you email?
Not really.

88.Last letter/piece of mail you received besides junk or a bill?
Birthday cards.

89.Last missed call?
Probably Shannon, but I can't reach my phone.

90. What does the last text message that you recieved say?
Fucking questions.... I'll talk about it when I get home :(

91.Last voicemail you received?
Shannon.

92.Do you drunk dial/text?
Sometimes.

93.Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone?
Fall for someone on the other side of it.

94.What is the best city in the state that you live in?
Plainfield.

95. Are you going away to college?
Used to.

96.Did you just die?
This question hurt my brain...

97.Are you bored right now?
Very.

98.Last concert you went to?
Korn, with Steve! In like 8th grade!

99.What do you think about before you go to bed?
I ask myself if I'm oblivious to the obvious.

100.What are your plans for tomorrow?
Class... work... and if my life doesn't want to stop fucking with my brain, perhaps a cute girl.

List of Careers

So I had a pretty interesting talk with my dad tonight about school and life and everything. And I'm really glad I did because I was starting to get rather irked at the man, and I realize now that he's one of the most amazing people I've ever known. The couple things that stood out to me the most in our conversation was we sorta brainstormed job ideas, in the process of this he told me I was thinking in the 1700s and I thought that was ironic because I always told Will he wasn't meant for this time period, maybe I'm not either. But anyway, we shot some job ideas back at me and a couple of them sounded pretty not too bad, so I decided I would list them and see what you guys think I would be good at, or even just what sounds interesting to you. I really would like to get a hold of this thing I call my life, even if I keep fighting with myself along the way.

• The first was teaching. Now if I taught, I'd probably do history or something like that, but my dad told me I'd be crazy not to do science or math. Because as a male I would get a job like nothing. Now my concern is that I'd be too impatient with kids that lacked the desire to be in school. Because I know that I don't want my time wasted by punk kids. But the plus side is there is state benefits like pensions, medical, and dental plans for working in public schools. Plus there's always room to expand and make more money.
• The second thing was going to law school. I don't really know what kind of law to go into, but I also never really comprehended the extent of my family. And I think this is important for everyone, because you never know your connections until you look for them. But I have a dad who is involved with all sorts of criminal justice people in NJ, my aunt is an attorney in NJ, and Betty knows a superior court judge here as well. So I could get clerk ships in any field of law I'd care to go into probably.
• The last thing we mentioned was accounting, namely forensic. Like the people who go back and look at companies like Enron and make sure their books are clean etc etc. I think this would be pretty cool, and not to mention I would have to get a CPA to do it, which means that during tax season I could also do taxes for people for a bit of extra money on the side. Plus even if I just did accounting, I could also go dual major for that and teaching, and teach math.

I don't know, it's mostly just rambling, but I'd like some feedback. My dad said, "College is a right of passage. They just want to see you weren't eaten alive by the tasks they handed you." And that made something click, like I should just suck it up and do it, and stop trying to fix a system that I have no control over. And instead work with it to make more money than the system and be able to live my life the way I want to worry free.